In which Reckless Duck goes shopping for biscuits.


In the newly refurbished build area, we find Duck and Big Duck in conversation.

Big Duck, we're out of biscuits again.

We can't be, I only went shopping this morning!

Well, we've eaten them all. Do you have to go to the shops, can't we get them delivered or something? From what Dave the Rat was saying, ordering your groceries online is quite the fashionable thing to do over in MonkeySpace.

We thought about that that. Even allowing for the fact that we don't have a credit card, there isn't a postcode for DuckSpace, so none of the online retailers will deliver, assuming they are capable of interdimensional travel.

I see.

I'm not complaining, getting supplies is one of my tasks, it's just so time consuming. Take our all-weather shopping trolley for instance. It works well, but having crawler tracks for the bad weather makes it really slow and using a clockwork motor is great for the environment, but it needs winding up every few yards, so each trip to the shops takes all morning. It's fine when I'm stocking up, but we need something faster for emergencies, like running out of biscuits.

You're right, I'll see what we can come up with.


Sometime later, we find Duck and Reckless Duck getting ready for a test.

So Reckless Duck, here is our high-performance jet-propelled biscuit acquisition trolley. Just the thing for a fast run to the shops for a single pack of biscuits.

Amazing! I like the sporty looking wheels.

Yes, we thought the usual castors would make it tricky to handle.


Now, a couple of points to remember. Firstly, the guard over the jet nozzle isn't a seat, it's just a thin heat shield to prevent any tail feather singeing incidents, so you have to hold on to the bar tightly and rest your feet on the pegs on each side. Secondly, it's a burn and coast system, with two simple controls. Twist the left grip to start the first burn and the right grip for the second burn. So, once the first burn ends, you just coast your way to the shops. It's all been carefully calculated using the PigPentium 2 processor and you'll coast to a gentle halt just outside the biscuit shop.

And for the return journey, I just point the trolley in the direction of the DARC and twist the right hand grip?


Sounds simple enough. What about the extra weight of the biscuits on the return trip?

All allowed for in the calculations, the first burn uses less than half of the fuel. But it's really important to buy a 150g packet of biscuits. Anything smaller and you'll overshoot on the return trip and have a bit of a prang. Anything larger will be OK, but you'll have to push the trolley part of the way back, so best to stick to the specified weight if you can.

Right, I'm off. Any particular biscuit preference?

No, as this is a test run, just get whatever you can find in a 150g packet.

Reckless Duck twists the left hand grip and races off.


Some considerable time later, we see Duck and Big Duck still waiting, somewhat impatiently.

Something's gone wrong, hasn't it?

Bound to have. Practically guaranteed.

I'll get the all-weather trolley and go look for him.


Time passes. Eventually Big Duck returns with biscuits and Reckless Duck.


Yes, I think he probably is.

I've broken my arm.

No, I meant the biscuits.

Oh, I see. Reckless Duck said something about a limited choice in the right weight. He was a bit incoherent.

I've broken my arm.

Where did you find him?

I saw his tail feathers sticking out of that hedge at the bend in the lane and figured the rest of him would probably still be attached. A quick tug on the tail feathers and the rest of him appeared.

I've broken my arm.

Bend in the lane? Oh dear, I don't think we programmed that in to the PigPentium 2 processor, we just used the distance. We didn't consider having to slow down for a bend.


You look after Reckless Duck, I'll go and get the other trolley.

I've broken my arm.


Big Duck returns with the jet-propelled trolley to find Professor Duck in attendance.

I've broken my arm.


He keeps saying that Professor Duck, I think he's broken.

Rubbish! Look at him, no torn seams, no stuffing leakage and most importantly, no singeing.

But he keeps saying he's broken his arm.

Impossible! He's a duck, so he doesn't have any arms to break, only wings. Also, he's a toy duck like the rest of us, so no bones to break.

I've broken my arm.


Unless what?

Well a possible explanation is that he thinks he's human. He's had a nasty bumb on the head, so he might be suffering from delusions of humanity. Yes, that sounds plausible, let's say that's what's happened.

I get the impression you think it might be something else.

If you remember, both Danger Duck and Edwardian Duck have experienced flashbacks for want of a better word, which have hinted at a pre-duck human existence. If that's what Reckless Duck is experiencing, that's a bit worrying.

I think I'd prefer it if he was just bonkers.

Hopefully it will wear off in time. In the meantime, I think we'd better humour him.


Feeling better?

A bit. Professor Duck has fitted me with this special brace. I have to keep it on until my arm, sorry, I mean my wing heals. Why do I keep calling it my arm?

It's probably that nasty bumb on the head you sustained in the accident, you're just a bit confused at the moment.


Reckless Duck's special arm/wing brace.